The world can become very small. It can be very tiring and overwhelming. It is easy to focus on what is difficult. There is so much that is ugly about fighting cancer. It is hard to find the good in life through the fog.
Much of what my mom battles is in her mind. How do you WANT to get up and move when all you know is overwhelming fatigue. It is easy to sleep. Getting dressed is in insurmountable task that defeats you before you throw back the covers.
One of my jobs lately is to point out the good. It is there if you look for it. Some times it might be the smallest, little thing. But if it makes her smile or laugh well then it was worth it.
small BIG joys from today.
1. Trip to Hy-vee to pick up a prescription. This was the first(not doctor) trip mom has had in over two weeks. She enjoyed the post Valentine’s roses & tulips.
2. Laughter. Several times today I joked about something I did or mom did that wasn’t that funny but it drew a laugh. Precious to me.
3. Engaging life. Today mom looked me in the eye. She called Abby, the therapy dog, over to pet her. She started conversations with me.
4. A closer family. Sadly before this journey my brother, sister & I weren’t really very close. We talked at holidays & birthdays but that has all changed. There are daily conversations flowing & we know what’s going on each other’s daily lives. I pointed that out to mom today. One HUGE blessing that has come out of this mess.
I know that tomorrow may not be a good day for mom. She knows it too. I plan to keep counting the good little joys that sneak in. It helps to chase away the fog and brings light to her world(and mine).