CRAZY weekend of FUN!

You might think that my whole life has taken a side road and I don’t do any of the regular stuff of life.  We do have a new normal with my mom living with us for a while.

We do still do normal things.  My kids are still working through their school work(albeit more slowly), the girls go to their Bible study, Joshua entertains us all by telling riddles and we’ve managed to keep up with memorizing for Bible Quizzing.

Its not easy but everyone agrees that it is worth it.  My Top 10 reasons Bible Quizzing is worth it pretty much lays it all out there.

This past weekend my sister & brother cared for my mom while we made a trip up to Cedar Falls, IA to participate in a regional tournament.  We took all 3 teams from Columbia.  That was quite brave for the youngest team as most of them are 11-12 years old.

We were gone 36 hours.  There was 12 hours of driving, 12 hours of quizzing and not much time left  for sleeping. 

Both the girls teams did great!  Megan’s team Amnesia ended up in 19th place out of 38 teams.  The best thing was that as we left one of the boys on the team said “I really love this team.”  They’ve pulled together and supported each other in many ways.

Elizabeth’s team Greek Squad placed 2nd out of all the teams who went to Iowa.  Their goal was stage & while they were there they made a bid for first.  Everyone was super excited that they managed to get 2nd place! 

I was proud of Elizabeth for getting 3 right answers and dealing with a microphone that was WAY too tall.

She has changed and grown from a girl who used to memorize quickly but not accurately to one who knows her material inside and out.  More importantly I am seeing the fruit of that scripture being written on her heart.  So while the trip was crazy—it is always rewarding to go and hang out with my kids while they do something we all love and know is worthwhile.

Unexpected phone call

Years ago(like 10) I had little people in my house.  The worst time of the day was 5 o’clock hour.  The kids were hungry & tired.  I was exhausted & ready to turn over the reins to Steve when he walked in the door.  But I had supper to prepare & have ready.

I liked to listen to Spirit FM, a Christian radio station, while I worked in the kitchen.  Michelle Odell was the deejay at that time.  I enjoyed her laughter and joyous outlook on life. 

Really I’m going some where with this—be patient.

My normal schedule on Tuesdays is to be in town running errands.  Yesterday I was home instead.  The kids have been staying with my mother-in-law so I can care for mom.  I won’t lie it has been a rough couple of days.  Survival kinds of days.

So when the phone rang yesterday I really wasn’t expecting the blessing that God had planned for me.  The sweet familiar voice I heard on the other end of the line was very familiar. 

The radio station was calling listeners, who support Spirit FM(which is AWESOME by the way), to chat & see if we had any prayer requests.  Did I mention that I am not normally home on Tuesday afternoon?

So I shared Michelle what our family has been going through because I knew she could relate.  Did I mention that when I was listening to her so many years ago she had learned that she had breast cancer?  Did I mention that I felt burdened to pray for her as she walked that journey?  You just never know how or when you might get to help someone or have that blessing come back around.

Michelle asked me a few things and then she sweetly prayed for my mom.  She reminded me that God is in control.  The only big “C” is the one who God sent to save us.  Christ is our great physician and he can do mighty things. 

Sometimes I think that we must go through the tough times, the really dark and desperate times, in order to know when God sends us encouragement.  In normal life we don’t always pay attention.

This is one of my favorite songs right now. . . . . I hope that you enjoy it.

Small Joys

The world can become very small.  It can be very tiring and overwhelming.  It is easy to focus on what is difficult.  There is so much that is ugly about fighting cancer.  It is hard to find the good in life through the fog.

Much of what my mom battles is in her mind.  How do you WANT to get up and move when all you know is overwhelming fatigue.  It is easy to sleep.  Getting dressed is in insurmountable task that defeats you before you throw back the covers.

One of my jobs lately is to point out the good.  It is there if you look for it.  Some times it might be the smallest, little thing.  But if it makes her smile or laugh well then it was worth it. 

The small BIG joys from today.

1.  Trip to Hy-vee to pick up a prescription.  This was the first(not doctor) trip mom has had in over two weeks.  She enjoyed the post Valentine’s roses & tulips.

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2.  Laughter.  Several times today I joked about something I did or mom did that wasn’t that funny but it drew a laugh.  Precious to me.

3.  Engaging life.  Today mom looked me in the eye.  She called Abby, the therapy dog, over to pet her.  She started conversations with me.

4.  A closer family.  Sadly before this journey my brother, sister & I weren’t really very close.  We talked at holidays & birthdays but that has all changed.  There are daily conversations flowing & we know what’s going on each other’s daily lives.  I pointed that out to mom today.  One HUGE blessing that has come out of this mess.

I know that tomorrow may not be a good day for mom.  She knows it too.  I plan to keep counting the good little joys that sneak in.  It helps to chase away the fog and brings light to her world(and mine).

Therapy Dog

I have teased my mom that she really doesn’t come to my house to be pampered & fed & enjoy her grandchildren. 

She comes to see my dog.

Abby is a sweet black lab who would let you pet her until your arm falls off. She’s sweet tempered, hardly ever barks and seems to know when mom needs a touch or company.  One of my favorite sights is to see mom sleeping on the couch and Abby sleeping close by.  Its like she know that mom needs a little extra loving right now.

Mom loves to let Abby lean against her and she pets her head & rubs her ears.  This seems to be mutually beneficial to both of them

Abby gets her loving(which she is not lacking from the rest of the family) and Mom gets to see my her sweet puppy. 

Love/Hate relationship with Drugs

The reality of fighting cancer is that you will be putting drugs in your body.  Sometimes REALLY bad drugs.  But you have to in order to fight the cancer.

The thing that is supposed to kill your disease in the end feels like it will kill all your energy, your desire to eat and at times your will to get out of bed and live.

I LOVE that these drugs are working for my mom.  Her tumors are shrinking and that is VERY good.  But she seems to be especially sensitive to the chemotherapy drugs.  She is strong and relatively young(62) so she is receiving a very strong cocktail of drugs to fight her pancreatic cancer.

I HATE that mom has to have even more drugs to battle the nausea, diarrhea, confusion, pain, constipation, & others.  Many of those drugs have worse side effects than the chemotherapy.

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Managing those drugs is an overwhelming task.  When you add that to the challenge of finding something that tastes good and the paralyzing fatigue that plagues a person dealing with chemotherapy it just is more than one person can bear.  So we who are watching have to come along side to help bear the burden. 

I will confess that this week on more than one occasion I have just wanted to quit.  Walk away from this trial that we are walking through with my mom. 

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Much of the problem is drugs.  Drugs that help with nausea cause confusion.  I hate to see her sick but I also hate that her life has been come a big blur that doesn’t make much sense. 

We were dealing with a stay in the hospital this week because mom’s symptoms from chemo weren’t subsiding.  More drugs helped in this case & I am glad.  Now that she is home we have found that those drugs cause more fatigue & confusion. 

Just what she needs huh?

I would never walk away from this—let me make that clear.   I do have to step back & take breaks though.  It gets overwhelming and exhausting. 

And I’m not the one with cancer.

Women of Faith in November 2011