I am not big of rules—for myself of course.
For everyone else they are fine.
I could just do without them.
Most of my children(notice I didn’t say all) don’t really appreciate them either. As a younger mom, I thought that all I had to do was lay out the rules & carry out the consequences for breaking the rules. As young children they did learn that rules are important and we survived the terrible twos and beyond.
But now I want to see actions that are taken without me nagging. Initiative is a great word. When I see someone DO something without being asked I praise it over and over and over again because it means so much more.
Doing things out of love for me, their father, and our whole family means a million times more than taking an action out of duty or adherence to the rules. That is something I didn’t know. I could have really ruined my relationship with each of my precious kids if I hadn’t changed my way of thinking.
Sometimes God gives you a glimpse of who your children are going to grow up to be. My abilities are small right now due to surgery.
But it has been GOOD for our whole family.
Sometimes nothing brings you together like a crisis. Which this is not, but you know what I mean. I think sometimes we don’t ask enough out of our kids. They can do more than we expect. I have been so surprised with how easily the house has run. I never thought my 8 year old could do his own laundry. I never thought my daughters could do ALL our meals on their own. It is such a happy surprise.
I am finding it easy to be joyful when
. . . a little boy runs to get my _______(shoes, water, phone etc)
. . . daughters bravely go in to the grocery store—WITHOUT ME.
. . . meals are on the table with out smoke, tears or takeout.
. . . chores are done without reminding(much anyway). I sure cannot see what the laundry looks like in the basement.
So I am focusing on the time I get to spend with them. I am looking for ways to enjoy them and create that relationship with them. It simplifies my life. I don’t have to worry so much about who is obeying. They seek the relationship with me and all in our family. Everyone finds the joy in loving.
I really appreciated a post at Heart to Heart with Diane today. It made me think & I am starting my own list of ways to “bind your children’s heart to you in love” as she says. Her post is directed at homeschooling but I really think any parent can use these ideas with their child.
Here is my challenge to you--what things will you do today to build your relationship with your child? I think I will go play a game . . . or two. Sounds pretty simple to me.